How Soon is Too Soon?....FROM A MALE'S POINT OF VIEW

We have numerous forums asking How Long Should I Wait Before Giving Up The Goods? I asked my good friend Tommie Collins who used to write about relationships on BET.com to help us out with this question.

Here is what he had to say:

The question of how long should women wait before they give themselves to a man has been a hot topic for years. Thanks to various sexual revolutions in our society and culture, this debate has taken many different directions in the past few decades. In the 70’s and 80’s, women made it known that men had to WAIT and do for them until they EARNED a chance to get their “good lovin.” The 90’s however, brought out a different message; a message that ladies should get sex when THEY wanted it…even if it was sooner than later. The question still lingers in 2009, do you wait, or do you go for it?

First of all, times have changed. Men used to be the only “savages” on the prowl for sex at all times. Not anymore. Females have put it out there that they are just as horny as men are, if not horny-ER. With that being said, if you decide to hump a prospect that you really don’t know that well, you should not be ashamed. It’s 2009, if he is outraged at you two wrestling naked too soon, then he’s probably on old fashioned prude assed dude. This isn’t your grandmother’s relationship, times have changed and so have the rules. Ladies, you want it just like we want it. Take that s***.

When you decide to give it up early, make sure the lucky man who is reaping the benefits knows the deal. Tell him that he is privileged to be in this situation, but that the timeline has nothing to do with your expectations of how he needs to treat you. You have to set the record straight early so that these guys don’t see you as a one night hitter quitter. Men will only treat them how you let them. Inform them that they aren’t GETTING it, you are GIVING it to them. Take that ego right out the picture and focus on getting your nut, sweetheart.

A wise prophet once said, “I don’t want it if it’s that eeaassyyyyy.” This is true on so many levels. But you sleeping with a man early in the relationship doesn’t have to equate to you being easy. It’s all about how you carry yourself. Don’t ever ask a man “if he’ll respect you” after you two have sex. He probably won’t if you ask him that. MAKE him respect you before you sleep together and I guarantee you won’t have to ask him a question like that, ever. Make him work for it, I can’t tell you how, that’s for you to decide. I can tell you that telling him to pick up some carryout before he comes over and ravages you is NOT putting in work. Make him treat you like a queen before you give you the royal jewels.

Thoughts?

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