Why Staying In a Relationship With a Narcissist Can Damage You

Letting go of any relationship can be hard, but having a narcissist as a partner is an even more difficult situation to walk away from. Imagine finding the perfect person, then realizing that their narcissistic behavior outweighs everything that you believed to be good about them. Bypassing a few red flags in the beginning, thinking that it's nothing more than a little ego, can leave you with more than you bargained for and the relationship. Something that you thought would last forever could be shattered in a matter of moments with a few powerful words, and you can be left hanging by a thread. Remembering that we all have some type of issues to deal with.

Understanding how a narcissist works is just half the battle. People are human, so you have to be careful not to label regular habits as a personality disorder, but there are a few visible signs that you can't miss. Many narcissists are self-absorbed in a world where you exist only for convenience. Often regarded as the neglected one, they draw you in with a pity story so you will always feel the need to forgive and adapt. So if you're looking for love, a narcissist is not the one for you. Narcissists are very careful when attaching themselves to others so believe me when I tell you, that you are the victim caught in a web of deceit that you couldn't phantom. Trust that you were handpicked because of the qualities that you possess as well as the vulnerabilities that they uncovered.

They began by smothering you with so much attention that you will forget how it once felt to be single or alone. Showering you with flowers, gifts, and vacations are just a few ways they will gain your love and affection, but it's all about making a good impression on them. Giving you breathtaking Highs, but Setting you up for the ultimate low's is the real goal for a narcissistic lover. How does one go from being placed on a pedestal, to feeling like they threw in a dumpster in a matter of minutes you ask? A narcissist thrives on control, so if they are the determining factor in how you feel, they win. It's up to you to realize when it's time to walk away.

One begins to lose sight of what was once important before they embarked on this roller coaster ride of hell. Sheltering yourself and downplaying who you are to become a puppet in a show that you didn't sign up for and that's not worth a title. After a while, you begin to develop bad habits such as taking responsibility for being wrong even when you're right, putting your needs on the back burner and allowing them to be the center of your attention. Control is what they crave, so as long as the ball is in their court, they're happy, and you merely exist.

A narcissist doesn't care how you feel or what you lost; all that matters is how available you are to them. Brainwashing and manipulation are a few tools used to leave you damaged and isolated in a world where they exist. Love is a game to a narcissist, one minute they love you, next minute they don't. You can give all that you can offer, and they will take all of it without a second thought. That's one of the reasons why a person's self-esteem lacks after a relationship with a narcissist. They alternate between love and hate while sending you mixed messages.

Of course, you can try harder to make things work. Not complaining as much, allowing them to make all of the decisions, and stepping lightly through the relationship may release some tension, but at some point the light at the end of the tunnel goes out, and there's no sense in forcing it or trying to repair such an unhealthy relationship. Your best is to break it off and start from scratch, leaving those bad habits that you acquired in the dust.

- by @uniquely_humble

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