"10 Ridiculous Relationship Dealbreakers" by @hobdragon
They say that all we need is love but in reality all we need is someone that fits into our world that worships the same god we do, stays thin, is of a “good” height, and can broil a mean fish dinner (Afro Samurai reference ftw). Our standards can seem—for lack of a better term—ridiculous when we write them down on paper can’t they? Everyone has their flavor but many of our preferences are echoed by so many that it seems like a normal thing to demand them of people who can’t fix it. Like height! Seriously? In any event, the following list is of ten deal breakers that I have heard over the years when it comes to dating.
1. Hygiene isn’t just a greeting
Get it? Like “Hi Gene”? No? Okay whatever. Ever get into a relationship with someone that you really like only to learn that they leave poo stains in their underwear, dishes in the sink for weeks, and boogers on the sofa? Ya, well believe it or not nasty people can change too but the question is do you have the capacity to civilize the savage in this instance? I didn’t think so…
2. The baby daddy/momma blues
Check out my post on the double standard of being a single dad. Check it out specifically for the comments where you will find droves of women saying that they want to be number one always and your kids can generally go to hell. It is very enlightening and sad.
3. Age ain’t nothin’ but a number right?
I’m guilty of this and I know it’s ridiculous. It took a year’s worth of dating an insane younger twenty-something for me to write them all off. I know, I know. Shortly after I went and tried out for my cougar-hunter badge and they made me a Captain. The game is strange sometimes but older women have a special place in my heart. This does NOT make it right though, so ya – don’t be me kids.
4. I’m fat but you can’t be
I see you big man, with your judgment and power gut talking about your girl better be south of 120. Where’s the squat and 5k pimp? Don’t be a hypocrite, it’s ridiculous.
5. My god is better than your god
I never understood how religion could teach all this peace, love and tolerance, but when it comes to finding a mate they better be claiming the right set or it’s no-go on the relationship thing. Christians and Muslims are all over the place so this doesn’t really trump game for them but what about the guys and gals with the not-so-popular religions? Is it better to be single?
6. I’m taller than you in heels!
No need to go into detail here, women want guys over six feet tall—yet pants seem to end in the 32 range in all of the “normal” stores when tall men wear 34’s…. screw you world. The funniest is a woman barely over five feet wanting a ball player. Fughoudahere.
7. Your fashion game is tender
I hear that there are guys who won’t date girls with eccentric tastes in dress and that there are girls who feel the same way too. Aren’t fashion and fads like farts in the wind? It can’t be that serious.
.
8. Mommy and daddy don’t like you
So… how old are you? Mom and dad still running your life? Okay, never mind me.
9. Bitchy friends and douche bags
Many times in a relationship you and your mate will be good but the one problem will come from friends. She may make you feel guilty for wanting to spend some time with them, thinks they are immature, and takes it out on you. For her these friends are a deal breaker and she may give you an ultimatum where you tell her to haul ass because well man law decrees it. I’m just saying. On the flipside it may be you not wanting to deal with her nosy, scheming friends that are trying to set her up with their boy behind your sleeping back! No respect, I tell ya. Friends are friends, we don’t have to like them, but we should respect the relationship our significant others have with them. I don’t think that’a a lot to ask.
10. Why won’t you fit into my prearranged life plans!?
Don’t you love people that have this idea of what their life is supposed to be and what their man or woman is supposed to look, act, and work like within it? You don’t even really count as their partner as you are merely another piece of the puzzle that is their life. So forget having an opinion, or any say in the marriage arrangements, house decor, or vacation plans, it is their world. You shut the hell up and get in your corner and play the part of the perfect mate damn it!
I’m being snarky but I have to ask you guys and gals that are the puzzle piece in some selfish (insert expletive)’s life. Why are you doing that to yourself? Do you like the arrangement, is that why you stay, or is it some other form of Stockholm Syndrome? I think we all know couples like this and it’s pretty damn ridiculous.
"Leave The Fairy Tales Up To Disney": The Reality of Dating
UP your brand!
Comments